Monday, July 12, 2010


It's been six months since I have posted on here and I can't say I've been too busy to not post. I have just been too lazy. Sure, I've thought about getting on here and leaving a post, but then something else comes up, usually a book that I am reading and the next thing I know the time has flown. So now that I can't sleep, I thought I would come and leave my thoughts here since they are cluttering my mind.

Tonight as my DH and I were going to bed, we laid down and he started talking about regrets. How it's all he can think about some days. Would we be in a better situation if we would have made different choices? Why do the decisions feel like the wrong ones and now we are stuck?

I am guessing he isn't the only one with these thoughts. I know I have thought them, but what makes it different for me is that I don't see them as "wrong". I see them as this is the path we decided to take and for better or for worse this is what we have and we make due until we go a different way if that's how it goes.
I laid there just thinking about the past and wondering where my path took a different fork than I planned. I couldn't find it, but I am sure if I look hard enough I could figure out where my life took a change. But you know what, I don't want to look that closely. I don't want to worry about the past. The past is the past. I need to learn from the changes I have made and when that next tough decision comes around, I can look at the other decisions I have made and they will hopefully help me figure out which is the next fork in the path to take.

There has been many changes in my life since I graduated high school. Shit, it's been 16 years since I graduated high school. If I hadn't had any change than something wouldn't be right. I know change is hard on many people, my DH included. I guess I have learned to embrace the change in some aspects of my life but in other aspects I have been very stagnant. I just wish that when a decision is made my DH wouldn't look at it as good or bad. I wish he would see it as another direction to go on the highway of life. I leave you with a photo of me thinking at Pooh's Thotful Spot at Disneyland from January 2007. Perfect photo for how I am feeling tonight.